Building a More Egalitarian Partnership at Home
The New Dad Research is a pioneering series of studies that examines the changing roles and attitudes of men and fathers as they approach work and family life. Mothers with male partners can benefit from these insights and recommendations as they juggle parenting and household tasks and desire to develop a more egalitarian relationship.
Contributed By: Jennifer Sabatini Fraone · Founder, Jennifer Sabatini Fraone Consulting
The Core Challenge
For many years, women have been making strides in their professional lives yet organizational structural and societal norms continue to reinforce that women should be the primary caregivers in their households. Men as partners and parents themselves had rarely been part of “work-life” conversations, so this line of research initiated by Professor Brad Harrington at Boston College sought to increase the visibility and voice of working dads, resulting in more recognition and normalization of their roles as caregivers and more dad-inclusive organizational policies.
Key Insight
While it is encouraging that mothers' and fathers' aspirations for shared caregiving are both high, the reality is that in the home, traditional gender roles persist. Over two-thirds of today’s fathers would like to play a more equal role in caring for their children, yet only about one third actually achieve egalitarian status. Organizational policies and societal expectations often prevent men from fully embracing their role as caregiver. Men fear career repercussions for speaking up and taking advantage of leave and work-life benefits. In order to change these cultural norms, more men must be vocal about their desire to be equal caregivers and pave the way for their colleagues to do the same.
Practical Strategies
These are strategies that moms can take in their interactions with their partners to help move to a more egalitarian partnership.
Jointly log/list all tasks associated with caregiving and running the household
Divide tasks based on interest and aptitude, not assumed or unspoken gender roles
Provide autonomy and ownership and try to avoid gatekeeping or too many instructions
Share appreciation for effort and don’t expect tasks to be done the way you would have
Encourage your partner to learn about and take advantage of any workplace policies available to him and to the family including child care support, parental and family leave, mental health services, new parent coaching, employee resource groups/parent support groups, etc.
Recalibrate and re-evaluate how things are working at least every six months
A Small First Step
Find a quiet uninterrupted time to have an open conversation with your partner about how you can address the work of caregiving and running a home as a team - both the hands-on tasks and the mental load.
For over 20 years, Jennifer Sabatini Fraone has operated at the intersection of academic research and corporate HR practice, helping some of the world’s most respected organizations—including Eli Lilly, EY, American Express, and IBM—create workplace cultures where employees truly thrive. As the former Executive Director of the Boston College Center for Work & Family, she managed a premier global learning community of over 200 senior HR leaders. Today, she brings that same research-backed rigor and strategic "big company" perspective to startups, non-profits, and purpose-driven organizations through my consulting, speaking and advising work.
For more resources, visit: The New Dad Research Series: https://ur.bc.edu/islandora/new-dad
Executive Briefing: New Parents at the Workplace: How Organizations Can Create a Culture of Support https://ur.bc.edu/islandora/new-parents-workplace%3A-how-organizations-can-create-culture-support
